Yoga for Grief: One Woman’s Story of Loss

by Joan Bougton

Jim and I met online and knew before meeting face to face that this was "it".   We met less than 5 days after first contact. I drove down to Dubuque, Iowa from St. Paul, Minnesota to meet him.  He asked me to marry him the same day we met.  Nine months later were married on a hill over-looking the Pacific in Carmel, California.

Less than five months later, Jim, a high school math teacher, had a seizure in his classroom while teaching AP Stats. He had just completed a cross country coaching season and had felt fine. The seizure was diagnosed as a brain tumor. That was Nov.4, 2009.   He was perhaps a genius, at least the most brilliant man any of us ever encountered but by January he began his downward slide. Jim had taken six yoga classes while he was dealing with depression following his divorce. He figured that he was happy now so didn't need the yoga, and he gave the remaining six classes to me.  For some reason I didn't start for several more months until he was worsening by the day. His dad came to stay with us and I bless this man who was losing his beloved son yet gave me the freedom to start taking yoga.

I can't begin to thank the wonderful people at my yoga studio. I have been given a real gift to use all my life. The first class I took gave me a calm, blessed night's sleep.  I became addicted to this sense of calm, peace and strength and needed it to get through such a horrible crisis.  Jim's dad and I held him as he took his last 2 breaths. I told him a number of times to go towards the light.  My husband died six months to the day from his first seizure.

Finally after 2 months I feel my spirit has lightened.  Yoga has given me the tools and breathing that get me thru the darkest times in my grief-filled journey. I'm going to Costa Rica in November for a week long yoga retreat for grief.  In January I will begin a year of teacher training classes. I feel now there is a purpose to my life and perhaps I can ease another's burden of the pain grief brings.

(Editor's Note: Jim "Coach" Boughton was a beloved math teacher and track coach.  The gift of his yoga classes to his wife has helped her through his death.  I've included this email to his wife from one of his students in his memory.  He was a very real man, and his very real gift will live on in all of his students, and all of Joan's future yoga students.  Akal.)

Spirit Voyage recommends the following song for grief:

Snatam Kaur's Guru Guru Waheguru Guru Ram Das Guru

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Posted in Yogi Stories | Tagged Snatam Kaur, yoga for grief