(Editor’s Note: Almost everyone has experience pain, loss, or some other difficulty in life. These emotional wounds require a process of inner healing in the same way that physical wounds require care. Many people come to yoga for healing, to try to clear out these emotional hurts. Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa will be writing a series on yoga for healing inner wounds and getting in touch with our true Selves.)
What Does It Take To Heal?
A dear friend of mine and I were talking the other day about the tragedies that people go through in life, and how often we can get stuck. The pain involved in loss and trauma can become so overwhelming that we stay frozen in time, reliving the past. Each moment we loose ourselves in old feelings and memories is a moment that we cannot embrace the here and now. Trauma, loss, pain and suffering drain the life out of your today like a psychic vampire.
There has been an entire industry created around giving people permission to express their past traumas and pain. In terms of mental health, many would agree that this is a positive step forward. There are 12-step programs and group support systems; counselors and therapists. There are even drugs that selectively repress the body chemistry responsible for emotional pain.
It is my belief that a large number of people seek out yoga and meditation as a way to self-medicate the pain from their past. Opening the chakras, raising the Kundalini, directly experiencing the Divine and the energy of the ethers. All of this can have a tremendously soothing effect on an internal nervous system that never stopped reacting to a perceived mental, emotional or physical violation held in a person’s memory.
Our approach to healing is often about releasing the pain in the moment. Either through talking, through medication or through a meditation. Yet, the act of healing – the moment where that memory gets transformed somehow so that it no longer hurts when we remember it – is a much deeper process. And for me, the act of healing begins with creating a new space.
One of the main discoveries I have made in my own healing/spiritual journey over the last 25 years is this. Inner healing starts with building a new room. When we are traumatized on any level, that trauma, and our reaction to it becomes part of our self-definition. It is “who we are” on some level. The more the trauma defines us, the more trapped we are in the remembered pain of it.
But who we are is actually an Infinite Ray of Divine Light, who came to earth in human form for a specific reason. We are not the pain and the trauma. We are creatures of an Infinite and Loving Consciousness. And there is a Divine purpose to our lives.
Total healing does not happen when we face those moments in our past and cry over them, fight about them, argue with them, or wish they had never happened. Although it is definitely part of the emotional healing process to do all of those things. Total healing happens when we begin to build a sense of our identity unrelated to the trauma. Originating from the Divine Self within. When the room of this new self-identity is built to a certain degree, when the “I” caught in the pain actually has somewhere new to move to, then we can look that trauma square in the eye and allow it to transform into something that will always be part of us, but will never define or rule us.
How does one build such a room? It is takes time, and requires new skills and a new understanding of the self. One simple place to start: if today you are dealing with the pain of a past traumatic event, ask yourself: what do you love about yourself and your life that has never had anything to do with those memories? If you were to take the trauma and it’s impact away, who would you be? You may find yourself in a space of interesting possibilities, opening the door to another level of transformation.
Wishing you all healing in your life.
With Divine Light,
Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa
Ek Ong Kaar Kaur Khalsa will teach a multi-class webinar through Soul Answer University (www.soulanswer.com) titled Activate Your Inner Healing Mandala. Stay tuned for more details.