“The heart center means, warmth, compassion, passion, kindness, hatred--everything which is wonderful in the world and everything which is rotten on the planet--they all come from the heart center. If you set your heart on something, your head will give in, that’s why it is the most powerful center and extremely dangerous. On the other hand, this is the only center worth living with. . . .
There are millions of expressions which relate to the heart. But still we mess up our life, mostly because of the heart, because this center controls passion. Anytime passion is not controlled for human intuition, it will bring destruction; it’s a law that I can’t change.”
–© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, February 12, 1991
Since meeting my fiancé, I’ve been writing a lot about love. I used to write a lot about love lost; now I write about what it takes to keep it. And the words of Yogi Bhajan are my ever present guide, in ways both big and small.
I came across this quote recently and realized that unless I come into a better relationship to this very powerful center, I didn’t stand a chance of containing and maintaining my future marriage. My life up to now has been lived under the painful blows of this hammer—intuition versus passion. I’ve always allowed my passions to rule; and I’ve paid a heavy toll. At this point in my life, I have witnessed so many relationships blow up in my face that I of course come to this one with a fair amount of trepidation, along with a few triggers and no little baggage. And as I observe myself, once again falling in love, and once again experiencing all the insecurity and doubt, along with the anger and frustration, I wonder, Do I have what it takes? And in that moment I remember these words, “this is the only center worth living with.”
And what does it mean to live with my own heart center—and within my own heart center? Does it mean being open-hearted? Yes—but only to myself. Does it mean experiencing passion? Yes—but only for myself. Does it mean feeling angry? Yes—but only with myself. Does it mean diving into the depths of compassion? Yes—but for me, for the scared little girl inside me who’s afraid of being lost but doesn’t quite know how to allow herself to be found either. The bottom line is that it’s an inside job. If I can accept and love and forgive all these things within me, then I can accept and love and forgive all these things in others, including my beloved. The beat of the heart is an ever-continuous call to the soul, Be mine, Be mine, Be mine. It is the rhythm of a life lived from the very center of our being.
So now, every time I hear the question, Do I have what it takes?, I know I’m simply doubting my own capacity to be with myself—to “Be Mine”. The 
mirror that is love and relationship is fathomless. And diving into those deep waters is scary; I don’t care how brave you believe yourself to be, or how much practice you’ve had in the past. When you dive into love, that dive is endless. There is no bottom; “there is no beginning and no end.” And so I realize that any insecurity I experience today or tomorrow is about my own fear of death, of Infinity; and my attachment to ego, who I believe I am, versus who the Guru, the Infinite within, is calling me to be. It gives these words we so often hear on Valentine’s Day, “Be Mine,” a whole new meaning.
This is the first Valentine’s Day in more than 10 years that I’ve had a Valentine, and still, I have to “Be Mine” first—and always. Hear the rhythm of your own heart. Be with the rhythm of the self. Sing the song of the soul—and maybe, just maybe, someone will hear your song and want to sing along. Happy Valentine’s Day.
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Sat Nam Sat Purkh Kaur,
I hear your words so clearly. I’ve recently fallen in love at the same time that I was ending an 11 year relationship. The wash of contrasting emotions that I have experienced over the past few months has made me realize how important it is love yourself unconditionally and trust yourself and be kind to yourself before you can love someone else unconditionally. Yogi Bhajan’s words through the I AM A WOMAN lectures and teacher training have helped me see how I can heal old wounds and give myself a solid base moving going forward rather than repeating my mistakes. It has taken some serious ego cracking to get to this point but the pain of that has been worth while. Being true to yourself means opening deep dark places from your past and it is by loving, forgiving, accepting and healing those wounds that you can move onto a bright future. Thank you for sharing your light.
Humbly, Sohan Kaur
Ah! Completely different situation, same message : ending a relationship 1month ago (and reading this article, thx dear ‘messenger(s)’!
has helped me see more clearly how I indeed need to “come into a better relationship to this very powerful center”.
Let’s get “ego cracking” then, and turn Valentine’s day into Valentine’s year and more !!
Love to all, Phil