5 Thoughts on Meditation

Recently one of my best friends asked me what I think meditation is. We both share a great interest in vipassana style meditation and some of the wonderful teachers who write about it, so when I started telling her about the 40 day sadhanas that I’ve participated in, it gave her pause. There are so many different views of what meditation is, what you’re “supposed” to be doing, how to do it, what you’re going to achieve…it can be intimidating! I don’t pretend to be an expert on every form of meditation that has ever existed, but I’ve explored a few options and come back from my journeys with a few thoughts on meditation practice.

The purpose. For me there is a fundamental theme underlying the different styles and schools of meditation. All of the practices are seeking to strip away the layers of our minds and egos and find the essence underneath it all. And there are a lot of ways to do that. Buddhist meditation has various methods, not just the vipassana style of following the breath. There are some styles that have complex visualizations, or the creation of elaborate sand mandalas. Meditation from the Hindu tradition can also involve mantra repetition, or complex mudras. There are also the myriad meditations coming from Kundalini yoga, some of which are trying to teach calmness and presence in the face of more physically challenging circumstances (i.e. Bound Lotus or Burning Inner Anger). Whatever the tradition, to me it all gets at the same thing. Learning to sit with what is happening without judging it or trying to change it. And hopefully doing that can calm the mind enough to see what is happening underneath it all.

The posture. Different meditation styles often emphasize some sort of specific posture. It could be as simple as sitting in a comfortable cross legged position, or something more intense like holding one’s arm out at an angle while doing a specific breathing practice. But these postures, held for some fixed set of time while doing a fixed practice, aren't meditation in and of itself. They are a time to practice the skills of mindfulness and non-judgment in a controlled and calm environment. The real deal is being able to translate a practice into the walking around, relationship filled world. When you can train yourself to relate to your own mind and emotions calmly, it allows you to relate to others more calmly.

Physical meditation. For me, right now, yoga is most often my meditation. It teaches me to ground myself in my breath, in the present moment, during challenging poses. When I get scared, or find a pose particularly difficult, I can try to breathe through my mental images of my physical self (not strong/flexible/etc), and hold the pose a breath or two longer than the last time I tried. One can also meditate while walking, dancing, or many other physical practices. Bringing awareness to your movements, and keeping your mind firmly fixed to the now, brings a meditative quality to physical activity.

Working with emotions. Meditation is a practice of looking at what is happening inside, in the realm of the mind and emotions. Once you get past the physical urges to fidget, or scratch, or peek at the clock, more heavy issues can pop up. When I did the 40 day Kirtan Kriya challenge, which was so simple on the surface, I had so many emotional things pop up that I almost quit several times. It was so hard to sit down every day and watch my ego throw its weapons at me. But I fought my way through, reached out for help from friends, and eventually came to a truce with the practice. I’ll probably never do it again (!), but I can take pride in my consistent efforts and the ability to complete something difficult.

Meet yourself where you are. Someday I would love a seated vipassana practice. That’s what my heart craves. But for now, I can’t do it. It's just too hard because it's so simple. Sit and breathe. When your mind wanders, bring it back to the sitting and the breathing. That’s all. There literally is nowhere to go and nothing to do but look at the inside of my head, and right now I just can’t stand that. As hard as some of the 40 day sadhanas that I've done are, in a way there's something gentler in having the assistance of intense physical work or maintaining a mudra or mantra. And that’s ok. Meditation shouldn’t be a chore, like cleaning or laundry. It should be a wonderful date with yourself, where you can take refuge from all of the things that cover over our true and wonderful Essence. So if you like mantra, chant on! Find what you love, and what helps you go deeper within, and know that if someday you want to give something else (or more intense) a try, it will be there.